Breather.

Humans have a knack for choosing

precisely the things that are worst for them.

--Albus Dumbledor

I love that feeling. You know, the one you get when you take a deep breath and suddenly everything feels like it's going to be okay. When you're hopeless as can be, and life is going nowhere, there's those moments we have every now and then where we just stop, and we get this feeling, that can't be described, but you just.. you just feel like everything really is going to be okay. Like the world stopped spinning for a second, and everything was clear.

I need more of those moments.

-Lisa

Forgiveness.

"Be with who makes you happy,

even if it means you're always running back"

---

My mind races and it's not like I have any other choice but to over analyze everything that I do or yet other's actions either.. I mean who doesn't? You're true being is shown through your actions. Mistakes, regrets, both things that hold people back from moving forward.

The most simple thing to move forward with life is to forgive. I hate the saying forgive and forget because in the end you'll never forget.. no one can ever truely forget anything. When something hurts the memory will forever be there. But by forgiving it's a bigger step because than you've accepted what's happen, you won't dwell on it and you move on.

Before I would always just say that I'll forget things, "its okay." It never really is. I've found it easier to just forgive.. Even though it's hard you just can't run away from things.

I know by now that no one can ever really know a person's situation unless they go through it themselves, but even so, it's never really the same. No one can honestly say that they know you feel from a moment something happened. Everyone deals things in their own separate ways.

And by now, my heart is overwhelmed.. but it won't ever hold me back from being the person who will love, forgive and will continue taking risks, even if it means getting hurt..

-Lisa

Love, Hurt, Forgive?

I believe in karma,

what you give is what you get returned.

I believe you can't appreciate real love

till you've been burned.

I believe the grass is no more greener

on the other side.

I believe you don't know what you've got

until you say goodbye.

---
Sometimes I think it's easier to run, run as far as you can until you can't keep going. Or at least until you fall and realize you gotta slow down. But running away from your problems won't make them disappear. The farther you run, the more you realize once you get to your destination.. the problem will still be there.

I've said it many times.. that I am naive and maybe I don't know what I'm doing, but at least I've taken the chance. Right? But way to wear your heart on your sleeve girl. You're a walking sign for a broken heart. Oh well, I'd rather be broken for taking a chance than not knowing what it would be like to fall in love in the first place..

At least I'm lucky enough to have friends to turn to that will tell me things straight up, the more I hear the truth it's harder to face it. But that's the slap in the face that I need. The push that I need to do what I have to do because I know I'm a strong person, that I deserve better.. even thinking into the fact, the only person I want to be with is him..

It's just hard to think the person you love, the person that you gave your heart, your all to can do something like this. What's stupid enough is giving a second chance.. I don't know. I've always seen the situation and thinking wow, why would you stay? But I love him too much to just let go.. and he knows that. I just don't want to be the fool again..

I mean, I've been burned and cheated on before but never like this, and it's never hurt this bad. I want to hate him so bad but at the same time I just want him to tell me everything will be fine. I guess now I know what it means to feel a love/hate relationship. But I don't like it at all, not one bit.

Who would've thought the one person that makes you the happiest can hurt you the worst. But that's just it, you love them so much that you'd think they'd never hurt you.

I just need to stop thinking about this.

-Lisa

PS.

I will always love you, regardless. =/

Summertime?!

Shame on me! >:[ I haven't updated in almost over a month now and I have a lot to catch up on! It's already summmer! But stupid Washington weather has to kill the feeling with the ickyness outside. But where to even start with this blog, I'm not even sure. I used to blog about anything and everything and now it seems harder for me to just sit down and write about what's going on cause I'm always just up and about doing my thing. I guess that should be a good thing, right? I don't know. I do need to at least starting writing some where again because like I've always said before writing is a a huge part of venting it and I just hate holding things on.

It's felt like I've been doing that a lot lately. But I think I'm getting better at holding things in, but that's something I shouldn't be doing..

Hmph, well let me starting blogging about what I first intended to write on,and that's about junior year being finally over and now I can't wait to tackle on senior year. I'm glad that I passed the argumentative paper cause that was a huge weight lifted off my shoulder. And now it's just one more year and it times to be out in the big world. I'm scared but excited at the same time. There's so much that I need to do and I have such a small amount of time to do it all. So much I need to decide on and I just can't dwell on anything cause the time for everything is now.. and there's nothing that is gonna stop me. I fell and have picked up myself. But this time, I'm not exactly doing it alone. I can defently say at this point I have learned to surround myself with the most important people in my life and there's no doubt with who they are. They are the one's I turn to with the BIG details and even the smallest ones.

Yepp, my blogging skills are a little rusty at this moment. But I will be blogging more: count on it! :)

-Lisa